Should I Sleep Train My Baby or Toddler? What to Do If You’re Not Sure

If you are not sure about sleep training your baby or toddler, you are not alone. Many parents feel unsure about when to start sleep training, whether it is the right choice, or if their child is ready. It is completely normal to have doubts, fears, or a lot of questions about sleep training.

Maybe you have heard mixed messages from the internet, friends, or even your pediatrician. Maybe you are worried about how your child will react, or how you will feel during the process. If you are feeling unsure about sleep training, you really have two solid options: talk it out or wait it out.

Option 1: Talk It Out Before Starting Sleep Training

Sometimes the best way to move past fear is to talk it through with someone who understands baby and toddler sleep and all the emotions that come with it. This is exactly why many families reach out before they start sleep training.

I work with families with babies, toddlers, and preschoolers who need help with sleep training, night wakings, sleep schedules, naps, and bedtime struggles. Many of these families are not sure if they are ready for sleep training yet, and that is something we figure out together.

Many parents feel really torn. Part of them wants better sleep so badly, but another part feels hesitant and unsure. They wonder if sleep training will work, if it will be too hard emotionally, or if they are going to do it wrong. I hear this from families all the time.

Many parents also worry that sleep training might harm their baby or affect their attachment or relationship. If that is something you are worried about, you can read more about the research and attachment here.

Here’s how we can work through those fears together:

• Name your worries 

  Are you afraid of your baby crying? Afraid of doing it wrong? Worried about judgment from other people?

• Understand what sleep training really is

  Sleep training does not mean ignoring your child. There are supportive, responsive methods that allow you to stay connected to your child while still making progress toward better sleep. Sleep training is not going to cause long term damage to your child’s development, relationships, or attachment. I am always happy to talk more about this with families who are worried. You can read more here.

• Process the big emotions 

  You are not failing because this feels hard. You are a tired parent trying to make a thoughtful decision for your family.

• Create a plan that works for your family

  There is no one size fits all sleep training plan. We create a plan based on your child’s age, temperament, your parenting style, and what you feel comfortable with.

  
  

A lot of the time, parents feel much more calm and confident after we just talk everything through. And if you decide you are not ready yet, that is okay too.

Option 2: Wait Until You’re Ready for Sleep Training

If you feel strong resistance to sleep training, or you know you will not be able to stay consistent with a plan right now, waiting might actually be the better choice.

Sleep training works best when parents feel ready and can stay consistent. Starting before you feel ready often leads to stopping and starting, which can be more frustrating for both you and your child.

But waiting does not mean you are doing nothing. Even if you are not ready for sleep training yet, you can still work on healthy sleep habits, a consistent sleep schedule, and a calm bedtime routine.

How to Build Healthy Sleep Habits Before Sleep Training

• Create a calming sleep environment 

  Think dark room, white noise, cool temperature. Read more about setting the right environment here.

• Adjust the sleep schedule 

  Sometimes small changes to nap timing, bedtime, or your child’s sleep schedule can make a big difference in night sleep. Read why and how here.

• Establish a predictable bedtime routine

• Establish a predictable bedtime routine. A few simple steps like bath, pajamas, book, and cuddle can help your baby or toddler understand that sleep is coming next and make bedtime easier.

When you do decide to start sleep training, you will already have a strong foundation in place, which makes the process much smoother.

How to Know if your Baby or Toddler is Ready for Sleep Training

If you need to talk through your sleep training fears, that is okay. If you need more time, that is okay too. This is not an emergency. It is a decision, and it is okay to make it when it feels right for your family.

When you are ready, I am here to help guide you step by step. Better sleep is possible, and you do not have to figure it out alone.

Want to talk it out with someone who understands sleep training?

You can schedule a free discovery call and and we can talk through your child’s sleep, your concerns, and whether sleep training feels like the right next step for your family.

Ready for better sleep now? Take a look at my sleep training packages for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers. Sleeping through the night, easier bedtimes, and more consistent naps are within reach.